If you honestly believe your friends child isn’t his, you should definitely encourage them to take a paternity test, and here’s why.
Historically, it has been a fact of biology that while it is impossible for a woman to mistakenly believe that a child is hers, such errors are all too common for men. Yet thanks to modern day science, paternity can be proven or disproven conclusively with DNA tests. A man can now be absolutely sure if a child is his or not – and it’s not a trivial matter. Lest anyone think that there is nothing but misogynistic bigotry behind the concern over accurate claims of paternity, a 1999 study by the American Association of Blood Banks discovered that in 30 percent of 280,000 blood tests performed to determine paternity, the man tested was not actually the biological father of his children.
So how does this happen? A man has to trust that the woman he is with is bearing his child when that is what she tells him, and yet unfortunately, not all women are entirely trustworthy, and even those who are can honestly identify the wrong man as the father of her children. What happens then? More often than not the man has chosen to ignore even the faintest intuitive sense that something is off. Maybe your friend resembles their mother’s ex lover? Or perhaps the mother makes sneaky comments around you like “I wish someone else were the daddy.” Or maybe your friend sincerely believes that the mother is faithful, meanwhile you and everyone around knows she’s cheating.
In the event you happened to be a bystander in one of these scenarios, you definitely need to find a way to suggest to your friend that they need to get a paternity test. Unfortunately this is often easier said than done.
- What if you’re right about the cheating but wrong about the paternity of the child?
- What if he refuses to get a test and cuts you and the rest of the family off for accusing their child’s mother of lying?
- What if you lose a mutual friends as a result of simply trying to do the right thing?
These are all very real possibilities, but they still shouldn’t stop you from encouraging your friend to get a paternity test. So what should you do?
Why not try a service like The Incognito Help Line to tell your friend to get a DNA test, so you don’t have to tell them yourself?
If you’re not familiar with it, The Incognito Help Line, is an anonymous messaging service that will personally deliver any message to anyone so that it will never be traced back to you.
As the number one professional anonymous messaging service, The Incognito Help Line knows that sometimes its easier to let someone say things for you, (which is why The Incognito Help Line was created- for people & situations just like this). It’s one thing if your friend gets a random phone call or text when they can’t validate where it comes from or if it’s meant to be taken seriously or as a joke. But if they get a personal phone call or text from The Incognito Help Line, they’ll know the message is serious and isn’t a joke, and it’s that personal touch that makes all the difference.
At the end of the day, people too often love to shoot the messenger instead of just focusing in on the message. Yet remember, while this is not an easy job, it’s a matter of your friends life and his kids’ well being. Things only get worse over time, so the sooner something is said, the better.