The first thing you want to avoid is jumping to conclusions based on stereotypes that lead to misplaced conclusions. While certain evidence is better than others, you really do want concrete evidence before outing someone (as we will discuss more below).
Sometimes its the quiet guy, or the guy who is walking hand in hand with a girl, but is disinterested and plays like he’s straight. Now don’t get me wrong, just because a guy is quiet or doesn’t like his girlfriend doesn’t mean automatically he’s gay, and while it may be something you’ve noticed about the guy in question, you’ll definitely need better evidence than that.
Did you or someone you know catch them on a dating website saying they don’t like “fems” and looking for a “straight-acting” guy? If so, he may be on the down low or not “out” so to say, but still prefers the company of men to women. Also telling is the fact that some males act like they’re annoyed & bored with their woman, always mean-mugging her and telling her to shut up, choosing to play video games and spending time with his homies over being romantic with your sister. Yet, when he’s around his male friends or in-laws, he’s laughing, smiling, joking and giggling. Why would a male be more flirtatious with his homies than he is with his woman? I cannot answer this question, but it may be another clue you can point out about the man in question.
Sexual preferences can be far more telling. If a male regularly gets erectile dysfunction when his woman is wearing the most reveling lingerie, and the only thing that can make him UP for love-making is to watch a very specific type of porn, he may be on the down low. If the man in question likes people to put their fingers or tongue in or around his back door, sure he’s a freak, a bisexual down-low freak, but still might like women. Yet, if the man in questions wants your sister to strap on a dildo and give it to him in his booty, it’s time to tell your sister to wake up!
Ultimately, no matter your reasons for speculating, you need to make sure you have actual concrete evidence before jumping the gun with gross misconceptions and misperceptions. However, if you do have actual concrete evidence (i.e. eyewitness accounts of homosexual activity by the person in question), you’ll definitely want to say something to your sister. Unfortunately this is often easier said than done. What if you’re right about their disinterest but wrong about their sexuality? What if you lose your friendship as a result of simply trying to do the right thing? These are all very real possibilities, but they still shouldn’t stop you from getting your point across. So instead of staying silent, let The Incognito Help Line relay your suspicions, so don’t have to.
If you’re not familiar with the service, The Incognito Help Line, is an anonymous message provider that will personally call and deliver any message to anyone with the promise that it will never be traced back to you. As the number one professional anonymous messaging service, The Incognito Help Line knows that sometimes its easier to let someone say things for you, (which is why The Incognito Help Line was created- for people & situations just like this). It’s one thing for someone to get a random phone call or text when they can’t validate where it comes from or if it’s meant to be taken seriously or as a joke. But when you get a personal phone call or letter from The Incognito Help Line, you know the message is serious and isn’t a joke, and it’s that personal touch that makes all the difference.
At the end of the day, people too often love to shoot the messenger instead of just listening to the message. Yet remember, things only get worse over time. So the sooner you say something, the better. Good luck!