There are some foods that are simply impossible to eat without creating a mess of either yourself or your surroundings. These foods are of course, the best foods- the foods we crave, dream about and will pretty much scarf down anytime they’re in front of us. Unfortunately the most delicious things can also be the trickiest and messiest to eat. So why must we lose all dignity when biting into a chicken wing and all grace when attempting to conquer a meatball sub? The scientifically correct answer is who knows? We just do.
In this regard, telling someone they eat like a slob often depends who you’re telling. If you care about the person, you should be delicate and try “the sandwich technique.” Start and end with something extremely positive, like “I love you so much and you are such a gorgeous person to me, and I have noticed that a lot of times, the way you eat buddy, needs to change. Understand the value of food in life and be very careful about it.” If they still don’t get it, you could say, “Hey, you eat like a slob!! But I love you anyway. I guess if you won’t change then I will have to eat like a slob as well,” then commence to showing them what they look like when they eat.
Other times you’ll find that you don’t want to take this approach. Whether it’s your sloppy in-law, or your disgusting co-worker, it’s more important that they get the message, regardless of where it comes from. So perhaps the best way to tell someone they eat like a slob is through The Incognito Help Line. Why? Because it’s anonymous and you’re definitely not the first to notice, so they can’t trace the call back to you! The best part is that prices start at just 99¢. So it’s best to let The Incognito Help Line tell them for you, so you don’t have to.