Let’s take a look at the exchange below. A man was dumped by his fiancé 3 weeks before their wedding and felt it fit to publicize the following:
Three weeks before our wedding. I mean, come on! Who does that? What’s a little Chlamydia of the eye between fiancées anyway? The doctor told us the swelling and discharge would likely improve a bit before the ceremony. And BTW — that over-priced, burka-of-a-wedding-veil your viper Mother picked out could hide a freshly sutured face transplant for Christ’s sake! Oh, and they have this new invention. It’s called…sunglasses!!!! I’m also 99% sure somebody online sells ivory-toned eye patches.
Would it have killed you to Google: “bridal eye patches” BEFORE ruining my life? How you justify calling me insensitive…when you’re the one tossing away a seven-year relationship and four-year engagement…it boggles the mind. I’m such a f@cking catch! Only been 72 hours — and already half the women and three of the dudes in my department are literally knocking down my shared-cubicle wall. Remember my office manager, Irene? From last year’s Christmas party — she sent me a totally romantic eCard featuring two mice dressed up like Romeo and Juliet swimming in bucket of milk. Even with carpal-tunnel braces on both wrists, that lovely woman included a lengthy personalized note. Have you EVER sent me an eCard???!
Oh, and my boss muttered something about me being on the “fast track” to getting a company car. That’s right, honey! You missed out on spending the rest of your life in the passenger seat of a reputedly low-mileage, 2004 PT Cruiser! With CD changer and brand new carpeting in the cargo area! Not to mention a sweet after-market spoiler package and rear window decal.
Now as scary as this all sounds, what’s worse was his reaction the day she broke up with him. Obviously this guy is a total nutcase, as evidenced by his rant. Yet the way he lashed out when she broke up with him was even worse (even though he was in the wrong)! That’s why it’s best to let The Incognito Help Line break up with them for you!
Even if someone is crazy, you don’t want to be rude by just sending a random text or email saying “We’re through.” They might not even take it seriously and could start stalking you just to confirm you actually meant was you texted or email. Seriously. It’s one thing if you get a random phone call or text and can’t validate where it came from or if it’s meant to be a joke. But when you get a personal phone call or letter from The Incognito Help Line, you know the message is serious and isn’t a joke. So take the hassle out of breaking up with an ex and let The Incognito Help Line break up with your crazy ex so you won’t have to!
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