I get it. You’re a good friend. And you’ve got a big mouth. I like that in a person. You see obvious things being done to someone you care about and want to scream “Stop it! You Are Better Than This!” (What else are friends for)? As far as sensitive subjects go, however, it would be one thing if you were criticizing their awful new haircut. It’s quite another, to express alarm about an affair they likely know nothing about.
As time progresses, this can become a great big toxic elephant in the room. That said, some people just love their toxic elephants. You can point it out, and they’re all like, “You don’t have a clue what you’re talking about… They would never do that to me.” Or even worse, they may reply “You wouldn’t understand.” So… what to do?
You can go one of two ways here.
Option No. 1: Use A Third Party Messaging Service
Anonymous message deliver services like The Incognito Help Line can be used to reveal the affair, so you can conceal your identity. The Incognito Help Line will deliver any message on your behalf via email, Facebook, text/SMS, Twitter, or personally, so it will not be traced back to you. (Just be ready to console your friend when they get the news).
Option No. 2: Tell Them About the Affair Yourself.
Point out their choices, be honest, keep it real, and prepare to get Bitch Slapped.
Regardless of the Option you choose, Do NOT apologize for telling your friend the truth. When it comes to people that are being cheated on, it’s not that they don’t see it, they simply disagree. It’s not that your friend doesn’t SEE that they’re living in a fire of dysfunction. It’s that they DISAGREE about the reality of why things are dysfunctional.
People often value the appearance of togetherness and “winning” and will continue to remain in denial until someone, anyone, points out the obvious. What’s worse, many of us have been there, and we know what it’s like to be the last one to find out they are being cheating on. So why would you let your friend remain in the dark when you know how it feels?
At the end of the day you have options about how to go about telling a friend they are being cheating on. (For now, I vote Option No. 1). Either way, whether you want to anonymously send your friend photos of the affair, or tell them they need to consider a breakup or divorce, The Incognito Help Line will let them know, without ever revealing your identity.